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It is no strange co-incidence that girls grow up believing that a boyfriend is the key to happiness...after all they have barely started walking, when the stories of the poor ill-treated Cinderella, saved only by a dashing prince, and the beautiful Snow White woken up by a prince, and the doomed Rapunzel, saved from the tower by..else - a dashing hero, are told to them.And when they read romance novels, this theory is further reinforced - for, in the classic teen romance novel, the girl without a boyfriend, or �sweet sixteen and never been kissed� is the poor, laughing stock, who doesn�t have a date to the �prom.� And on the pages of a typical adult romance novel, the heroine is always a successful, beautiful career woman, but, she feels, that �something� is lacking in her life..that �something� is naturally a man.She might see someone at school, who is popular, and good-looking [i.e.
But this has all the ingredients that a classic romance novel does not...those candy-coated pages do not tell you about the heartbreak, the tears, the mood swings and the countless negative aspects that are the central to these relationships Everyday life becomes a misery..marks drop, daily moods start to depend on the current state of her relationship with the boy and many girls, totally misled by Shaitaan, even make dua for a �reconciliation.� In the worst possible scenario, which is frequently happening, the girl, in an effort to improve her �self image,� may turn to various other ways...smoking, clubbing, drinking and drugs..she may embark on a series of flings just to make herself feel �special� again.�The woman and man guilty of adultery of fornication, flog each of them with a hundred stripes: let not compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day: And let a party of the Believers witness their punishment.� As difficult as it might be to end such relationships, once we realize and acknowledge to ourselves that the novels to which we are exposed to from such an early age are totally based on a kuffaar way of life, which appears to be very appealing from the outside, but which bears no contentment, no real happiness, it will in sha Allah, be easy to do so.
We should realize, that while it is natural to be embarrassed to discuss such aspects of Islam with them, it is infinitely better for them, that we impart the correct knowledge of an Islamic way of life to them, than allow them to acquire the totally wrong concept of �love� from books, television, movies, and their friends and environment.
It should be explained to each teenager that the pre-marital relationships, the engagements, etc to which we attach such a great deal of importance in this world have nothing but a negative bearing on our lives in the aakhirah.
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Many unmarried people these days search for �love� in a series of premarital relationships, which far from yielding happiness, lead to nothing but spiritual degeneration, loss of self-respect, heartache and the average girl reaches the age of ten or eleven, she - sometimes with the knowledge of her parents, sometimes without their knowledge - becomes engrossed in and obsessed with the teen romance novel: a blonde, blue-eyed girl, with a perfect size 10 figure, falls in love with the football hero of the school, a few complications on the way (nothing major, of course), but things end happily after.
The reader is told what the �perfect body� is supposed to look like, the notion that sexual intercourse before marriage is sweet and romantic seeps through these pages..feelings of degradation, and the many possible consequences thereof are conveniently left out.
The first �crush�/infatuation our daughters experience in relation to members of the opposite sex, is often linked to false perceptions about �dating,� perceptions to which a wide variety of factors contribute.
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